Steven Stamkos to Toronto?

Although often accused of believing their city to be a more popular free agent destination then it really is, Toronto media and fans insist this time they’re serious.

“Steven Stamkos is going to do what LeBron James did, he is going to end up in Toronto in a couple of years” insisted super Leafs fan Steve Holt. When asked why Stamkos would want to go to Toronto based simply on the fact he is from Ontario, Steve replied “Because LeBron James did it.” Asked if he had anything else besides that logic to back up his beliefs, Steve slowly repeated “BECAUSE. LEBRON. JAMES. DID IT.”

One fan when asked about the last time a major star signed with the Leafs based purely on the fact he was from Ontario, bravely said “David Clarkson”, holding his face still as long as he could, before his lips trembled and a single tear rolled down his cheek.

Our contact at TSN insists it’s a sure fire slam dunk Stamkos will be a Leaf in 2017. “It’s pretty obvious from his statement ‘We’ll see what happens'” that it means he’ll sign in Toronto. I mean, are we taking vague hockey cliches from Stamkos and trying to turn it into news? Sure, but at the end of the day, he’ll either sign in Toronto, or we’ll write about how he is going to sign in Toronto, up until he doesn’t sign in Toronto, then we’ll come up with a story about how management dropped the ball and blew a deal at the last minute. Either way, we’re getting paaaaaid”. The contact then followed this up by making money signs with his fingers and doing a little bit of a dance.


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