Hockey world in shock as Flyers sign a defenseman to a one year deal

Michael Del Zotto, who saw his stock plummet last year, has finally found a team, signing with the Philadelphia Flyers. While this signing may seem innocuous at first glance, what shocked most people in the hockey world was that it was for only one year.

“We tried to offer him a 6 year deal. Wouldn’t take it. We tried a 7 year deal. Wouldn’t take it. We then tried a 5 year deal. He still wouldn’t take it. I was confused as anybody” explained newly anointed Flyers GM Ron Hextall outside of a Baby Gap. “We tried explaining to him that we have a proud Flyers tradition of signing defensemen to really long deals, and I would be damned if that was going to end on my watch, but he fought it tooth and nail and eventually we just had to sign him to the one year deal. I feel like I’ve let the city of Philadelphia down.” At this point Ron Hextall began throwing batteries at himself, crying openly, before a PR rep walked him away.




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