Blue Jackets sign Dana Tyrell due to “House allegiance”

When Dana Tyrell was acquired by the Blue Jackets last season, he thought it was for his grit or his tenacity. It turns out, it was due to his name. Tyrell gave a quick interview while at a drive through at Burger King this morning.

“Apparently Jarmo Kekäläinen is a massive Game of Throne fans, and he really likes House Tyrell, so he went out and got me. I joked with him when I arrived that I’ll do my best to make ‘Mace’ proud, and that’s when it got kind of weird. Jarmo grabbed my shoulders and sternly told me ‘You’ll do more than that. You’ll help end that unholy alliance with the Lannisters and make sure you get behind Daenerys, because the future lies with her and that bastard Snow.’ He then spent three hours going over military strategy with me and custom fitting me for armor. I’m starting to think he thinks Game of Thrones is an HBO 24/7 documentary…”

Calls to Jarmo went unanswered, but apparently critics of the Blue Jackets have been invited to what the he is calling a “Red Media Event” next year, where everyone can air their grievances.

 

 

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